What do a perp-walk and a home-made brownie have to do with you and binge eating? Keep listening!

Welcome to the Done Bingeing podcast, where you’ll hear about powerful life coaching strategies that empower you to end binge eating.

Binge eating is no joke. So explore all your options. If you’re functioning well in your life and you want to explore a non-clinical approach to stop bingeing, coaching might be perfect for you. Life coaching isn’t therapy, but it may help you on your journey whether you also choose to do therapy or not. Trust yourself, take good care of yourself, get the support you need, and see what works for you. If you want to hear how life coaching can help free you from binge eating, you’re in the right place! You have more power than you know. Why not take it back? And now, your host, Life and Weight-Loss Coach Martha Ayim.

Welcome to Episode 2 of the Done Bingeing Podcast. Thank you for being here with me. This episode is about where you and I meet. If you’d really like to get the most out of this podcast, I’m going to ask you to come prepared to give your all, as I’ll give mine.

And if you want to kick-start your recovery from binge eating right away, download my free e-book 12 Surprising Steps to End Binge Eating—Starting with Your Very Next Urge. The link to the e-book is in the show notes. That’s where you’ll find how to begin to apply the concepts that I’ll be introducing in this episode.

And in the remaining episodes of this podcast, we’ll be going so much deeper into the concepts, tools, and strategies that can help you end your binges for good.

If you’re listening to this podcast, chances are:

• You feel afraid you’ll never be able to stop bingeing.
• You don’t know how to make the urges to binge stop coming.
• You feel overwhelmed by the power of your urges to binge.
• You don’t know what to do when an urge to binge hits.
• You think there’s something wrong with you.

If you’re listening to this podcast, chances are:

• You want to stop bingeing.
• You want to be confident that you can stop bingeing.
• You want to be able to handle an urge to binge when it comes.
• You want to stop feeling like your urges perp-walk you over to the fridge and shove your face into it. Better yet, you want to stop getting the urges altogether.
• You want to feel calm around food.
• To have one size in your wardrobe that you can count on to fit you every day.
• To feel confident in your body.
• To put your time, money and energy into something besides shopping for food to binge on and bingeing on the food you buy.
• To put your time, money and energy into something besides program after program to try to stop bingeing.
• To be able to handle a colleague passing around homemade brownies without wanting to strangle them.
• To be able to share meals with family and friends and feel totally calm about it.

But how do you get from here to there? How do you move from being stuck in the cycle of binge eating to living a life free from bingeing? Because let’s face it, when those urges to binge come, they can feel like a storm.

If you’re like most binge eaters, the storm goes something like this: You’re sitting on the couch, minding your own business. Maybe you feel an initial stirring. Maybe you just get blasted as the urge to binge sweeps up, seemingly out of nowhere. It feels absolutely overwhelming. You’re gonna die. You’re sure of it. You scramble for what to do. You feel like you just can’t handle it. Before you know it, your head is in the fridge. Or the ice cream’s out of the freezer. Or the chips are out of the pantry. Or you’re at the drive-thru window. You binge—sometimes before you even know what’s happened.

Then comes the calm after a binge. That sacred calm. That all-too-often short-lived calm. Then, your body starts to feel like crap. Then, your heart starts to feel like crap. You don’t know how to make the urges stop. You don’t know how to make the binges stop. You sense another storm brewing. Discouragement settles more deeply into your bones, into your soul.

Have you ever felt like this? I know I did for sure. No one is immune to discouragement. We all feel this. If this feels anything like you, know that you’re not alone and that you’re in a safe space. You don’t need to be alone with this anymore.

I felt totally powerless when my urges to binge came. I know the anguish, the obsession, the desperation, the panic. I know the passionate search for answers. I know the soul’s dream of finding a way out.

But I found out that eating really can be joyful and nourishing. It was possible for me. And it’s possible for you too.

Let me guess at some of what’s holding you back from stopping your binges: Those urges to binge feel absolutely overwhelming. Like they actually take over your body and force-feed you. You’ve tried countless things to stop bingeing, and with every attempt that fails, you get a little more cynical about programs and books and people who say they can help. You don’t want to trust another approach because you don’t want to get let down again. You’re even tempted to become resigned to the bingeing because you’re wondering if it might be less painful to give up on your dream of ending the binges.

Am I close?

Here’s what I want you to know: I’m going to be the coach who completely takes a stand for you. I’m going to be the coach who provides a safe space to talk about binge eating—and how to heal from it—without any shame or judgment. I’m going to invite you to commit today to letting go of all of the shame. I’m going to ask you to commit to being kind to yourself. To keeping an open mind. To taking a chance on trusting yourself again. To trying new strategies, and to being curious about what comes up for you when you do. To believing that you have more power than you know, and that you can take it back. To face what you fear, one tiny step at a time.

The strategies I’m going to teach you took me more than 30 years to discover, but once I did, my binges ended within weeks—for good.

Have you ever felt too scared to keep trying? I know I did. Sometime it felt easier to give up. We’ve all been there. We’re all human. But you are not alone. This podcast is a safe, shame-free space. If you reach out to me at martha@holdingthespace.co, I will never shame you. Nothing you could tell me about your bingeing or your attempts to stop would surprise me.

Why? Because I’ve been there. Remember, I spent more than 30 years here. Sometimes at rock-bottom. Any attempt to stop that was humanly feasible—I probably tried it. And the way out of binge eating was not through shame or self-hatred.

The way out of binge eating was through being willing to regard myself with respect, despite my bingeing. The way out was through letting go of the shame. It was through being willing to either love my body at almost 100 pounds overweight or—at the very least—being willing to be neutral about it. It was through practicing observation. Through learning why I binged. Through being willing to try new tools. Being willing to feed myself satisfying meals. Being willing to face my fears, one little fear at a time. Being thrilled with every baby step I made toward recovery. Being curious about why some things worked and about why some things didn’t. It was through learning to manage my mind when the urges to binge came. To manage my mind when life happened. It was through never giving in to the temptation to hate myself when I still binged. Through loving parts of the journey I was sure I had to hate. Through being willing to believe that a life without bingeing was possible for me. Through being willing to ask myself powerful, yet sometimes difficult, questions.

And now I have some questions for you. And I want you to answer in the privacy of your own heart.

I’m asking you: Are you willing to not let shame win any longer? Because you have two choices. You can either stay in shame around your bingeing. Or you can choose a path to freedom that starts with shifting to curiosity. Shame versus freedom. You get to choose.

I believe you can be free from binge eating. I haven’t binged in years, and that’s after more than 30 years of bingeing. I believe that powerful life coaching strategies can help you get there. I believe you have so much to offer yourself and the world and that, free from the bingeing, you’ll be so much more able to share your gifts.

I chose freedom and it was worth it.

If shame is stopping you like it did me, I’m guessing that it’s hurting more than your ability to heal from binge eating. It’s hurting your life.

I’m saying this because I’m going to ask you to start by dropping the shame and giving yourself credit for your bingeing. Yes, you heard that right. I want you to flip the shame on its head and take credit for your bingeing.

Why? Because one way to begin to let go of shame is to acknowledge that you’ve been taking the best care of yourself that you can. And that’s a good thing. Bingeing is the best that you can do right now. If you could have stopped by now, you would have. Am I right? I want you to feel safe enough listening to this podcast to risk the freedom that comes with dropping the shame.

I’m asking you: Are you willing to do the work? Are you willing to be open to new strategies? I want you to feel safe enough listening to me on this podcast to risk staying open to new ideas and to new tools.

You’ve already done some of the heavy lifting. You have some more work to do, but it’s exciting that you’re already here. You need to want this so bad it pisses you off. You need to want this so bad you want to cry. You need to want this so bad that you’re willing to stay open.

And I’m not saying this because it’s going to be grueling work. I want you to get in touch with how badly you want this because this is what’s going to help you fight for yourself. This is what’s going to keep you steady in unsteady times. I want you to expect resistance. But I want you to also remember that you’ll get stronger by taking action, even when you feel afraid.

I’m asking you: Do you want to be free from binge eating? Is that you? I don’t want you to feel afraid or that you can’t break free from binge eating. That other people can break free but not you. That’s not true. I’m going to teach you everything I know about using life coaching skills to find freedom from binge eating.

How are you going to feel when you’ve let your first urge pass you by without reacting to it with a binge? I’m going to show you how to do just that.

Give yourself some space. We’re going for progress. We’re not expecting perfection. With every attempt you make to defuse your urges to binge, you’re going to get better at it. You’re going to learn something new about what happens for you, what helps you and what doesn’t help you.

And, finally, I’m asking you: What do you stand for? You need to know.

I knew again and again that I wanted to stop bingeing. I knew that there was more to my life and that binge eating held me back. I knew that despite the temptation to give up, I never would.

What do you stand for? Why are you here? Why are you listening to this podcast? Why are you doing this?

My guess is you’re here because something inside desperately want to stop bingeing. Something inside you hasn’t given up. You know that there must be a way out. You have a vision that it must be possible to live without binge eating.

If you’re saying these things, I’ve been where you are. I said, “I’m not giving up.” I said, “There must be a way to stop bingeing.” I said, “I’m going to find that way. And when I do, I’m going to help as many people as I can find their way out too.”

Get in touch with why you’re here and declare it in the privacy of your heart.  Answer these questions: “I am here because . . . .” “I am open to . . . .” “I am willing to . . . .”

If you want to break free from binge eating, I’m committed to helping you get there.

Here’s what I stand for:

I stand for you.

I’m committed to helping you learn to defuse your urges to binge. To helping you restore trust in your ability to feed your body nourishing food. To helping you feel calm around food. To helping you gain the confidence to enjoy a normal dinner with family and friends. To helping you lose weight as you learn to eat normal amounts of food. To helping you free up physical and emotional energy no longer hijacked by binge eating, and free up your time and money no longer consumed by an old, destructive habit. To helping you gain more energy, clarity, and confidence that will radiate into the rest of your life. To helping you to find your way out of binge eating.

I believe that you have everything it takes to heal.

I believe that you can do this.

I believe in you.

What do you believe?

What do you stand for?

That’s it for Episode 2. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this podcast, subscribe so you never miss an episode!

And let me know what you thought of this podcast by leaving me a review on iTunes at holdingthespace.co/itunes. I’m offering 10% off my programs for the first 100 people who leave me a review. Just email the title of your review to martha@holdingthespace.co and I’ll send you the discount code. Please click the show notes for easy-peasy instructions to leaving an iTunes review.