EP #19: Mental rehearsal
I want you to look beyond the end of your bingeing. Why? Because bingeing or overeating may have become an all-consuming drain on your life, a central focus, perhaps even an identity. When it’s gone, there may be a hole in its wake. And what then? What will you do and who will you be? A hole that remains after you stop bingeing may have contributed to why you started bingeing in the first place. Start thinking about what will replace this focus in your life so that you don’t fill that hole with another pattern that keeps you spinning in a groove you don’t want to be in. How can you fulfill that empty part of your life so that you don’t just plug it up with a different behavior or a different substance with its own net-negative result? Listen to the episode to find out more!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/19
EP #18: Mental hygiene
Everything you create in your life is an indication of your power. Your thoughts cascade into the results you have in your life. And that is amazing news. Why? Because you can choose the thoughts you want to think. So, in this episode, we’re breaking down how to think deliberately into four manageable steps: finding out what you’re currently thinking, evaluating whether those thoughts are serving you, choosing new thoughts that will serve you (if necessary), and practicing your new thoughts (which is the topic of Episode 19). Listen in for the details!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/18
EP #17: Thinking deliberately
Our brain is the most powerful asset we have. Yet, left unattended, it will lead us down the path of least resistance, down a well-laid trail. Why? Because it’s easier and more efficient. So . . . what to do? Think deliberately! The ability to be aware of your thoughts and to think certain thoughts on purpose is the privilege of being human. If you’re bingeing, compulsively eating, emotionally eating, or overeating in any way, a significant portion of your eating pattern is unconscious. It’s the way overeating in any form thrives. We may not even know what we’re thinking—or if we’re thinking at all—before or during episodes of overeating. Becoming conscious of those thoughts, learning how they undermine us, and choosing thoughts that better serve us is key to ending overeating. Listen to the episode to find out more!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/17
EP #16: Creating feelings
There’s nothing more important than how we feel when it comes to getting what we want and need. Why? Because feelings are the reason why we do everything we do. They are the reasons why we make the choices we do around our eating. In fact, feelings are so central to eating that emotional management is a must if you want to reach the goals you have for your eating and your weight. You are one feeling away from shifting your eating and weight loss toward where you want them to be. Find out how to create that feeling by listening to the episode!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/16
We began looking closely at emotions in Episode 12 in a conversation about how to lose weight after being a binge eater without triggering any more binges. In that episode, we started to study why we have the desire to overeat in the first place. To understand the question, we needed to understand the three main reasons why we have the desire to overeat: 1. we use food to anesthetize painful emotions, 2. we’re conditioned to overeat by society, and 3. our dopamine system gets hijacked by high-sugar foods. So, since then, we’ve been exploring emotional eating and taking a deep dive into emotions—understanding them, choosing whether to eat them or feel them and now we’re on to creating them.
EP #15: Understanding feelings
Many of us are so detached from our emotions that we can’t even name them. In fact, most people don’t know the difference between really feeling an emotion and resisting, reacting to, or avoiding one. Truly feeling an emotion can be done sitting on a chair and experiencing sensations in your body without taking any action at all. Listen in to Episode 15 to find out how!
Episode 12 began the discussion of losing weight—without triggering more binges. And, in that episode, we started to explore why we have the desire to overeat in the first place. To understand that, we needed to dig into the three main reasons why we have the desire to overeat: 1. we use food to anesthetize painful emotions, 2. we’re conditioned to overeat by society, and 3. our dopamine system gets hijacked by high-sugar foods. Episode 13 started the examination of how we use food to deaden uncomfortable feelings. Episode 14 went even deeper by differentiating between eating a feeling and feeling a feeling. Now, in Episode 15, we take time to understand feelings even more deeply.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/15
EP #14: Eating feelings VS. feeling feelings
Sometimes feelings suck. Especially when you don’t want to feel them. One of the main reasons we have the desire to overeat is that overeating is an effective—though temporary—pain killer of feelings we don’t want to feel. The fact that it has the effect of doing what we want it to do—numb painful emotions—even for a short time is what keeps reinforcing its use as an analgesic. Episode 14 drills down even further into emotional eating.
In this episode, we continue the discussion we began in Episode 3 about using self-regard as your key ally to end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, the bingeing itself, and weight loss after you stop bingeing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/14
EP #13: Emotional eating
We have the desire to overeat for three main reasons: 1. because we use food to anesthetize painful emotions, 2. because of how we’re conditioned to eat by society, and 3. because of how our dopamine system is hijacked by high-sugar foods.
You can begin to unlearn that desire by understanding how we use food to deaden uncomfortable feelings, how we’re conditioned to overeat, and how the neurotransmitter dopamine works. We’re going to take these one at a time. Episode 13 tackles how we use food to escape emotions.
In this episode, we continue the discussion we began in Episode 3 about using self-regard as your key ally to end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, the bingeing itself, and weight loss after you stop bingeing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/13
EP #12: The desire to overeat
Losing weight after being a binge eater—without triggering more binges—can be tricky, which is why most approaches will barely touch the topic. I’ve left this issue to the end in this series on self-regard because without a solid foundation, any weight loss information I offer just risks being rehashed into another hysteria-driven, hate-based dieting mentality. I’m done with that, and I hope you are too.
When we focus on losing weight, we’re just treating the symptom—the tip of the iceberg, the part of the problem that we can see. We’re not addressing what lies below, the bulk of the problem that we can’t see. We have to dive beneath the surface to find the underlying causes of being overweight. One of the biggest culprits is the desire to overeat—and that’s what Episode 12 is all about!
In this episode, we continue the discussion we began in Episode 3 about using self-regard as your key ally as you end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, the bingeing itself, and weight loss after you stop bingeing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/12
EP #11: After the binge
You’ve binged. Again. And you’re tempted to run from that reality. I know the feeling. But I’ve got a better idea.
Something happens when we run: everything goes by in a blur. And what can you see in a blur? Not much. Some unidentifiable streaks perhaps. And this is exactly where bingeing thrives. In the blur, in the streaks. In the unwillingness or inability to see, to be aware, and to be conscious. In the unwillingness or inability to stay still. But you can see so much better in the stillness. It isn’t as scary as you think. You can be still after the binge. And I can help.
Episode 11 continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard should be your key ally as you end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, and the bingeing itself. The next episode will cover how self-regard can help you lose weight after you stop bingeing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/11
EP #10: Loving the act
You want the binges to end right away. I get it. Try to be patient with yourself. This process can take time, and you’re well on your way. Let’s talk about what to do if you’re not yet able to defuse and bypass your urges to binge. I can’t let you off the hook here! Yes, you’ve guessed it . . . you’ve got to binge with self-regard—that form of deep, unconditional love for yourself that we’ve been talking so much about. Why? Because self-regard lets you be a neutral witness of the binge, which, in turn, allows the binge to serve as a step toward new neural wiring instead of just another loop through the old neural groove.
It often seems like there’s so much to get upset over when we binge. There’s the amount of food we eat, the kind of food we eat, the lightning speed at which we eat it, and the unnerving disconnect between how we want to eat and how we actually do eat. But I want you to stay calm and be kind to yourself during the binge by following three simple steps. Listen in to find out more!
Episode 10 explores why deliberately planning and savoring your binge will help you so much more than racing through it with your eyes closed because you hate what you’re doing. This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard can be a key ally in helping you end your binges. Episode 4 focused on weight, Episode 5 looked at dieting. Episodes 6 to 8 tackled the urges to binge. Last week, Episode 9 explored why—counter-intuitively—it may be better to love your bingeing than to hate it. The following episodes will cover the post-binge blues and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/10